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I get by with a little help from my friends

18 Sep

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship…particularly, adult friendships. Remember how easy it was when you were kids? You were “best friends forever” with whoever happened to be sitting next to you in class, on the school bus or who lived next door to you. Things began to get dicey when you entered middle school, and there was always the drama of who was your best friend. It was heartbreaking if you found out that your bff had suddenly became bff’s with another. Friends often changed as quickly as the weather did.

Things seemed to calm down a little when the high school/college years came along. There wasn’t quite as much drama and internal arguing in your group of friends, but friends did seem to rotate a lot. Especially during college, when people were constantly changing majors, moving out of the dorm, starting a new job. All of these things affected who you considered your “friends”. To feel cool and accepted, it was always best to have many friends…the more the merrier. It was vital to always be able to have an instant party with a few, well-placed phone calls.

Then comes marriage. And kids. (Or kids, and then marriage, in my instance.) And suddenly–you find out who your real friends are. You find out who is willing to skip a bar night to come hang out with you and your newborn. Who is willing to watch movies in jammies on New Year Eve, and consider it a great time. Maybe even a friend who thinks going to the zoo with toddlers sounds enjoyable. Adult friendships are not only less work, in that you aren’t constantly bickering between yourselves as you did in the younger days, but also more work, because you have to fight for that time together in the chaotic world of being a responsible grown-up.

I’ve been lucky and very, very blessed to have friends from my childhood that have carried over into adulthood. I have a few college friends that I’m still in contact with, and even if we don’t see each other often, we always pick up right where we left off. But most recently, I’ve found that the friendships I made during my twenties have been the ones that have really stuck. I like to think this is because I chose my friends… and they chose me. As an adult, you have the option of whether or not you want to hang out with someone. It’s not like your elementary years, when you’re around the same kids, day in and day out, and almost forced to befriend each other out of necessity. My crew and I click because we love the same things. We love books. We love music. We love concerts. We love theatre. We love our children, nieces and nephews, and spouses (even when they’re being asses). And most importantly, we provide each other with an unwavering, supportive love.

I’m so glad that I purposefully rid my life of the emotional vampires who sucked the life right out of me. I’m happy that I choose to surround myself with such fabulous people. And although I consider myself to be a friendly, outgoing person…. I hope, that if you are in my world in some small way…that you feel at least a little bit special, because I obviously think that you are:)

“Friends we are
Friends we’ll be
Friends forever you and me.
Search the world,
and we shall see,
together- just how happy we can be.”
-Jessica Kenney, age 10

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11 Comments

Posted by on September 18, 2009 in Friends

 

11 responses to “I get by with a little help from my friends

  1. Heather

    September 18, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    I whole-heartedly agree!!! Just exactly what I needed to read this evening……but, that shouldn’t be surprising that you knew just what I needed 🙂

    Love you!!!!!!!

     
    • Jessica

      September 18, 2009 at 8:25 pm

      Imagine that….we were on the same brain wave! That NEVER happens!! *snort* Have a great time on your trip!!

       
  2. Desert Rose

    September 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Aww, that was really sweet! Friends are really great..I’ve never been into the more the merrier though, I’ve always liked it simple, just a small group of close great friends.

     
    • Jessica

      September 19, 2009 at 10:39 am

      Thanks, Rose… I think simple is always better too!

       
  3. Cyndi

    September 18, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Well that’s just about the sweetest thing I’ve read. You and your friends are lucky you have each other. I agree. I would be lost without my friends. I’ve known one of them since I was 10 years old and some for a few years. I love my bloggy friends too!

     
    • Jessica

      September 19, 2009 at 10:46 am

      Cyndi: I am lucky enough to still be friends with the girl I grew up next door to…we’ve known each other since we were two. Ironically, she and her husband, and their five (OMG!!) children, bought the house I grew up in from my dad, and they now live there, next door to her parents. I’m still close with my best friend from fifth grade on as well. She lives in Wichita, which is only about two hours away, but sadly, I haven’t seen her in years:( Thank God for Facebook for helping us all stay connected. And I was hoping that it would be understood that I love my bloggy friends as well– I’m glad you got that:) You girls put some smile into my days:)

       
  4. 2kids...3martinis

    September 18, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    Sweeeet! 🙂

     
    • Jessica

      September 19, 2009 at 10:48 am

      We must get together, Kathy, so that I can have some scandalous friend stories to share about you!!!

       
  5. Amanda

    September 18, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I get by with…oh sorry you caught me singing. Anywho….I agree. Although I have know Rose since 3rd grade we were never really friends. I mean we got along but we never hung out. We went to different high schools so after 8th grade we pretty much lost all contact. And when we reconnected it was like we were just destined to be in each others lives. *sniff* I love that girl!

    And since I know that when you said that if we are in your world that we should feel special was really directed right at me…I do feel special…and not in that “special” short bus riding kind of way either.

     
    • Jessica

      September 19, 2009 at 10:50 am

      Amanda: I’ve been singing it ever since I wrote the post last night, LOL. Oh well…at least it’s a good song! I’m glad that you and Rose reconnected. It is VITAL to have good friends in your life–especially when you live in Nowheresville. Lord knows I love my husband and children (as I know you do as well), but sometimes you just need your girls!!

      PS I’m glad you feel special in a non-Sweet Pickles bus kinda way– you definitely are!

       
  6. chelle

    September 19, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Emotional vampires! So love that expression. I seem to attract them like flies to honey!

     

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