21 Sep

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. 
It’s that I had the courage to start.”
— John “The Penguin” Bingham

I admit it.   I’m a wannabe.   I’ve always had a life created in my head that has never matched what I’m actually living.  For example, I’ve always wanted to be organized and have a simple, welcoming home.  As you know, I’m working on Operation Simplify to help me reach that goal.  I’ve also always wanted to be a good cook…. and well, it’s getting there.  I’m getting a little more adventurous, but definitely need to invest some more time.  I always cook more in the fall and winter, so I’m hoping to tackle that goal during that time frame. 

But one of my secret, most hidden desires, has always been to be a runner.  I’ve gone so far before as to buy special running shoes.  One of my favorite books of all time is a running book.  I’ve subscribed to runner’s blogs, eagerly following the trials and tribulations of others who have the willpower to do what I do not.   I’ve gone through spurts where I actually did run, and not just read about it.  And it was wonderful. I felt so free and energized and healthy…. and then for some unknown reason, I quit.

Well, it’s time to change that.  I’m tired of being a wannabe.  I have the power to change — why haven’t I? Why can’t I?  There is absolutely no reason I need to envy those who lace up their shoes and hit the road, enjoying the freedom of being one with their body.   All of my excuses are exactly that….excuses.  I need to MAKE this time for myself happen.  And if it means getting my butt out of bed a little earier, then that’s what I need to do. 

To be honest, I’m frightened to even be typing this.  Afraid that I will, as I always do, start off with such grand intentions…and then not follow through. I need you all to hold me accountable!  “Operation Runner” is underway! 

**A special shout out to my running peeps who are helping guide me on this journey! You guys are awesome, and maybe one day, when I can run longer than five minutes, we can go for a run together!!**


Posted by on September 21, 2009 in Uncategorized


22 responses to “Wannabe

  1. Shae

    September 21, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    I am so very proud of you! Like I said, I have the book: Chi Running. You should borrow and read!

    • Jessica

      September 24, 2009 at 4:05 pm

      Thanks, Shannen… I really appreciate your support!

  2. Amie Bowen

    September 21, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    I too always wanted to be a runner….. If you ever figure out the trick, please teach me. I run about five minutes and get that horrible pain in my side that nearly causes one to collapse.

    • Jessica

      September 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

      Amie, I know exactly the pain you speak of. I’m hoping to tackle this age old mystery and will let you know the results.

  3. kristy hall

    September 21, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    I have to admit I am the same way! And I have always longed to be a runner as well. Everytime I pass a runner I think think man I wish that was me. How awesome would it be to run off your bad mood. one of these days I will run and maybe you and I can hit the road together. =) Good luck on your journey. =)

    • Jessica

      September 21, 2009 at 9:33 pm

      Thanks, girl! I’m definitely going to need some motivation—maybe I should treat myself to a pedicure for every ____ number of miles I run. I left that blank cause I can’t decide on a number, lOL. Although I’ll probably feel like I deserve one after every mile! 🙂

      • kristy hall

        September 24, 2009 at 10:32 pm

        haha i ran every night for nearly a month and never could make a whole mile without stopping or even close to a mile. it seems to come so easy to some people. So to me every mile ran does deserve a treat!

  4. Heather

    September 21, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    I know you can do it!!!!!!!

    • Jessica

      September 21, 2009 at 9:34 pm

      Thanks, girl!! I really really really need to get my butt in gear!

  5. Amanda

    September 21, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    You want to run? Like on purpose? Without cops or scary people chasing you? You know where I want to run? To the nearest Dairy Queen or Starbucks…yes I could run there….then eat ice cream and drink coffee to my hearts content before dying of a heartattack because of said running.

    • Jessica

      September 21, 2009 at 9:35 pm

      LOL! You crack me up! I know, I know… I’m weird. It’s just this odd goal I’ve always had. Although once I get some miles under my belt, we can definitely do a race to the DQ. Love me some Blizzards!

      • Amanda

        September 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm

        Race you to DQ? Yeah ok I will hop in my truck and wave at you as I race on down the road and wait for ya.

  6. Jessica

    September 21, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    I might need a ride after I pull a hamstring, or quad, or random other muscle that hasn’t been worked in only God knows how long:)

  7. Cyndi

    September 22, 2009 at 6:26 am

    LOL, I’m with Amanda. I have never understood the desire to run. I absolutely hate it.

    Having said that, I do understand the desire to exercise and also the desire to follow your passion. So…I’m behind you girl. Get out there and run your ass off!

    • Jessica

      September 23, 2009 at 6:13 pm

      Cyndi: Unfortunately, I don’t have much of an ass to begin with…but I’d be happy to run these love handles off:)

  8. Jenny

    September 22, 2009 at 7:22 am

    You’re an example to us all! 😛 But seriously, this is a great goal. Go you!

    • Jessica

      September 23, 2009 at 6:13 pm

      Thanks, Jenny- hopefully I’ll have lots of progress and success to share with you guys!

  9. fuzzycricket

    September 22, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Hooray! I loved John’s, “The Penguin,” running philosophy. He’s got some great books on running. One of the tricks I use to psyche myself out I don’t feel like running came from one of them. I get my shoes on. Then I tell myself, “I’m just going for a walk for a quarter mile.” I usually get past that quarter mile and feel darn good, so I walk a little faster. On the days I’m feeling fantastic, I find myself running after half a mile. On the rare days that doesn’t work, I finish out my walk and give myself permission to be okay with that. That way, there is never any pressure and I don’t burn out.

    Add in some great running music, a nice DVD to watch while I run on the treadmill, a cool audiobook, these help me walk/run a little farther, too.

    I applaud you. Deciding to run frightening. Continuing is a mental trick. Can’t wait to see you on the roads. 😉

    • Jessica

      September 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm

      Thanks for the great advice, Rachael… I’m sure I will need that mentality to get me up & going. Now…if I could just get rid of this darn virus, so I could get started.

      • fuzzycricket

        September 25, 2009 at 10:26 pm

        Never run with the sniffles or nausea. It’s just no fun. Ugh. Shall I bring over some chicken noodle soup? Or is the kind of virus that would fare better with Gatorade and soda crackers?

  10. chelle

    September 22, 2009 at 11:46 am

    I started running last summer and LOVED IT. I miss it, so need to get back to that place. I never felt so empowered as I did when I was able to run.

    GO for it. You are going to love it!

    • Jessica

      September 24, 2009 at 4:21 pm

      Thanks, Chelle… I may be hitting you up for advice soon!


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