“Live in my house, I’ll be your shelter.
Just pay me back with 1,000 kisses.
Be my lover, and I’ll cover you…
Open your door, I’ll be your tenant.
Don’t got much baggage to lay at your feet.
But sweet kisses I’ve got to spare,
I’ll be there, and I’ll cover you.”
-jonathan larson
It’s hard to make yourself vulnerable. Opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection, and failure, is scary. But sometimes, in order to be able to live with yourself, you have to take that calculated risk. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you wish it would. Knowing that you can, and most likely will be hurt, doesn’t make the pain any less when it actually happens. But…there is a sense of pride that wasn’t there before. A little voice saying, “Good for you!”. Even if your heart is a little sore, a little more bruised than it was when you woke that morning – at least when you lay your head down at night, you’ll know that you were one hundred percent, whole-heartedly, without any reservations – true to yourself. And fully in the moment. And you gave it all you had. Really…is there anything more you can do? I think not.
Your loss, for not recognizing… or appreciating.
And when you do walk away, shaken, and disbelieving at how easily you could be sucked into that vortex, you have friends to hold your hand, guide you back to yourself, and whisper those three words that always mend your spirit:
I’ll cover you.
stargurrl13
January 9, 2012 at 10:06 pm
You know I love you and I’ll cover you!
Jessica
January 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Thanks, lady! I loves you too:)
Jenny
January 10, 2012 at 9:03 pm
*hug* That song always makes me teary, no matter how times I listen to it. I’m getting teary right now already without even listening to it (won’t load! argh!).
Jessica
January 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Well, curses! I’m so sorry it wouldn’t load for you, Jenny. It’s not the best video (JLM’s lips aren’t synced very well with the music), but surprisingly, it was the only one of the movie version that I could find on youtube. Anywhooo — it is an absolutely brilliant song and I think Jonathan Larson is a genius.
Amie
January 13, 2012 at 11:38 pm
I found you! So glad I did! I have missed reading your posts 🙂
Jessica
January 14, 2012 at 9:53 pm
So good to see you here, Amie !